February 20th 2022

Wow all 2’s and 0’s

Sunday night in late February, and the storm winds are blowing making the quietness of the night sound so disturbed -no normal sounds and I try to drown out the sound by playing The John Coltrane quartets music which has followed me around so much of my life since the early ’60’s.

Those were the heady carefree days of falling in love, studying, music dreaming of travelling the world my secret country list in the back of my diary. Every year I ticked off countries I had managed to go to, added new interests and re -added those special place which spoke to my soul.

I cannot think of how many times I have wandered around Carcassonne something always draw me back to those walls and the shadows of the past hiding but being felt

But enough mind travelling its been a really tough week with storms and the threat of war in Europe by Russia the world seems to have learnt nothing at all.A wrist that stopped putting up with the hours I made it work — I miss this wrist right now as it sits there on the end of my arm not wanting to play just to rest and recuperate.

Never thought about what I do manually in my day before this happened but now I am plunged into thought and my hands are so precious to me in every way and as long as my eyes are open my hands are busy.I am a carer -a mother-an artist-a gardener with a passion for my trees.These hands have worked so hard and after my accident and the fracture of bones in my right hand I worked so hard to regain everything but maybe I used too hard and now Flighty Righty is surrendering to rest.

Listening to the storm, cursing what I cannot do right now but actually letting my mind go travel dreaming again as it did all those years ago.

Is it time for change I wonder, a new twist in my path new horizons differing sunrises differing words being heard without an understanding to me.I always loved that I could wander, hear speech but not get involved as it was just babble to me and no-one could draw me into conversation. I know and recognise that side of my nature the reclusive one.

I used to wonder what drew me here just off the Pennine Way to restore an old chapel which I had no intention of buying no intention of living here or falling in love with the whole essence of this place but it happened and the train rolled on with us as passengers and it happened.Then I read my Fathers walking diary and there in black and white he describes this place to a T from way back and then I find his YHA card abs he had slept just down the valley from here. Who says life has no plan and strange I feel so close to him in this place

21st February only 8 days left before March storms in as I am sure she will. The days are going so quickly the grandchildren growing so tall and hearing my 3year old Grandson saying “In my opinion Grandma I find if you have fallen and hurt yourself you just get up be brave and carry on!” Very wise words little man I wonder if you too travel in time as I do

Tomorrow I buy a new tree to warm the winter days with her plumage in my gaze from the window a Hamamelis Aphrodite. I am excited.

Stay safe and I sign off

Keep creating keep travelling

Be Happy

Chrissie